Husband: I don’t care what anyone says, this is a great t-shirt.
Wife: I know honey, but do you have to wear it to the rehearsal dinner?
Husband: Uh, how else will everyone know that the father of the bride is not to be fucked with?
Wife: John, no one is going to “F” with you at our daughter’s wedding.
Husband: Remember our wedding? Two fights broke out.
Wife: That you started!
Husband: I specifically told the DJ Steely Dan only! He’s the one who started playing “Funkytown”.
Wife: John, this shirt is not appropriate for a rehearsal dinner!
Husband: Hold on. Did I just hear my wife tell me that loving the United States of America isn’t appropriate.
Wife: I didn’t say that.
Husband: I love three things in this world. The USA, Steely Dan and you. In that order.
Wife: I know, you tell me every night before we go to bed.
Husband: And in the morning.
Wife: Fine John, wear the damn shirt.
She starts to walk away.
Wife: I just think it’s strange that the dog on your patriotic shirt is a German Shepherd.
John looks down at his shirt.
Husband: Wait, what?
The jam on this sandwich is so classy, I feel like I should be wearing a monocle while eating it. It’s made with champagne. (Taken with instagram)
“It’s a Beatles music day. Also, testing out my newly populated Google Music account.”
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I am reading 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus
“Excellent read so far. Learning quite a bit.”
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Pretty sure I’m just never going to get past the end of Chamber 15. I just don’t have the …